he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
