Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
