My Higher Power is John Stamos
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
