Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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