is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
