All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
