Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
two words: eviction party
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
