I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sobbing to NWA
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
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