i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
