It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
