White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
