we have pet lesbian snakes
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
