Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
