peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Let's get the cat blown out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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