David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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