This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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