I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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