I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
