She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
