I wannas sexs uuuuu
420 ftw
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
