There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
