you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
