Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
