i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
