omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
