Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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