We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
