That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize