The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
