I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
