I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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