i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
