Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
