so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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