I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
