Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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