let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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