But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
