Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
