friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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