it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
