it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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