How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
