i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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