Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
