It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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