I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
