some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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