Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
