And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize