We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
