If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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