tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
