I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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