know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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