Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
