Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
