I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
