People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
