i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
