Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
