I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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