ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
