I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
last night I used snow as a chaser
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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