hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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