I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
