I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize