guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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